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i.

Learn how to hear when there is no sound. Listen to the last heartbeats of a dead man, for they will tell you how to hold on, and how to let go, but you are the only one that can choose between the two. Hear the sorrow of a silent criminal at a confessional, because it can tell you where the line is and how to cross, but it's up to you to decide if you want to or not. Listen to the chemistry between two lovers and you will learn how to appreciate the love in everything people do.

ii.

Uncover how to see in the darkness, because it's a whole lot more important than anyone ever expects. Look at the hues of red in the night sky and the neon colors beneath the snow and they will show you that what you see is what you get, but not everything is what it seems. See the emptiness that shines from fake smiles and you will realize that everybody lies. Look at the world with your eyes closed and determine that this is the only way you will ever be able to see. Now decide if you want to or not.

iii.

Figure out how to taste with your mouth closed, because it will be a lot harder to with your mouth open when your tongue is tied in such bad knots you can't even talk. Swallow down the taste of emotional pain and hurt and agony and you will learn it tastes a lot like blood and salt water. Now it's up to you to decide if you want to live with the taste or wash it down with too sweet juice and fake mint toothpaste. But always remember to taste the feeling of joy floating around the air surrounding you, for it will teach you how to appreciate every smile thrown your way and every laugh you share.

iv.

Prepare yourself to smell when your nose is so filled with smoke and debris that you wouldn't even be able to breathe if you tried. Sniff the scent of regrets held on to for so long, they've gotten stale and musty and weigh down so hard that they feel like the weight of the world. It will teach you how to forgive yourself and forgive others, but you have to determine if you want to forget or not. Smell the horror that leaks out of your body and grasp that sometimes you only get two options - fight or flight.

v.

Learn how to feel with your heart, because it will tell you everything you will ever need to know. Feel love and hate and sadness and joy and everything in between, because they will teach you how to unlock the door that conceals your heart and how to unwrap the chains you use to keep it bolted to the floor. They will teach you how to live.
I had such trouble on this piece, so any feedback at all would be greatly appreciated :worship:

:iconthewrittenrevolution: Does it get the feeling across of it being a lesson? And does the ending seem like a good ending to you? Or do you think I should expand on it? :P
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:iconpowerzzz21:
powerzzz21 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
We may not know the meaning to life, but with this, we might find it.
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:icon1000themes:
1000Themes Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
you really hit it square on the head. this is just brilliant. I felt like a child listening to his mom lol
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:iconkj-illustration:
KJ-Illustration Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Hi :heart: Your beautiful piece has been featured in my February Feature: [link] :love: :hug:
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2011
Thank you! :hug:
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011   Writer
I like the entire piece. I used to tell students to use their five senses in entirely new ways and write something about that, for example "how does a color sound?" and more. Yet you capture a lot here in a small amount of space and you've done it very well. Thank you. :+fav:

:iconthewrittenrevolution:
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011
Thank you! :hug:
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:iconsilvercaffiene:
silvercaffiene Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
The last bit was a little abrupt, but the flow is lovely. Not so much a lesson as imparting words of beauty and wisdom to others.
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with the world.
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2011
Thanks! :D
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:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2011
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here [link] Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2011
Wow! Thanks! :D
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:iconsolarune:
Solarune Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2011   Writer
I love this, it's really beautiful. :) I think it definitely comes across as a lesson, but not in a pushy sense; more of a loving parent or friend telling someone, or even themselves (like it could be a letter to your younger self, or even to the whole world). I also really like how it revolves around the five senses and how each is a little bit different from what you'd expect; the final part seems good, to me, because you associate touch with physical touch, and I like how you've flipped that round into emotion.
I especially like "Figure out how to taste with your mouth closed" and "Uncover how to see in the darkness, because it's a whole lot more important than anyone ever expects."
Beautiful! :+fav:
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2011
Wow, thank you!! :iconsuperheroglompplz: And thanks a bunch for suggesting me for a DLD too! :D
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:iconsolarune:
Solarune Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2011   Writer
You're welcome! You deserve it. :)
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:iconelendurwen:
Elendurwen Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I like your way of thinking. How you see that the world is much more than what we generally perceive. Would you like to join NoReligion?
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2011
Sure, I'd love to :D
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:iconelendurwen:
Elendurwen Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
cool looking forward to your posts ;)
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:icondoodlertm:
doodlerTM Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I'm just speechless. :jawdrop: All of the senses are conveyed amazingly through this poem. The imagery is great as well. It's so beautiful and I think it's definitely worth the hard work you did writing it. :thumbsup:
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2011
Thanks! :hug:
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:iconfozzymillow:
Fozzymillow Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2011  Student General Artist
I love it. The only thing I'd change is when you said: '...everybody lies, and some people are deceitful'. This is sort of repetitive.

:iconultimatela1plz::iconfavedplz:
:iconultimatela2plz:
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2011
Hmmm, now that you mention it, it does seem pretty redundant:P..Thanks for the feedback and fav! :hug:
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:iconfozzymillow:
Fozzymillow Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2011  Student General Artist
No problem! :hug:
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:icondevil-with-halo:
devil-with-halo Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
this is perfection!!!!
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011
Haha, it's far from, but thank you anyways :glomp:
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:icondevil-with-halo:
devil-with-halo Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
No seriously I wish I could write like this :meow: I had tears in my eyes by the time I finished reading :D
:hug:
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011
Awww, don't cry :icondeathhugplz:
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:icondevil-with-halo:
devil-with-halo Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
mihihi :meow:
:hug:
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:icondianecrow:
DianeCrow Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2011
Oh, I get the feeling alright. I spent 44 days in the hospital for a bone marrow transplant and I definitely appreciate life better but you just put everything into words. I like how you mentioned the feeling with the heart last because I think that's the most important of all :) I think you've done enough :heart:
Great work! Very meaningful^^
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011
Thanks for the feedback, it always means a lot to me when I'm told things like this, I really appreciate it :hug:
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:icondianecrow:
DianeCrow Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011
you're welcome^^
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:iconinkspots123:
Inkspots123 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2011
This is beautiful.
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011
Thank you :D
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:iconzerosilver:
zerosilver Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so glad I decided to read this when I found it in my inbox. It drew me in from the first sentence, and in answer to your questions:

The lesson comes across perfectly, but not in the sense that it's meant to be forced on the reader. It doesn't give the message of "you have to do this or else this will happen"; it's more like friendly advice. I think the truth behind it is the beauty of the piece--that instead of using our five senses as we normally do, we have to look beyond them and use them in a way that isn't as obvious as we would usually think.

The ending is perfect, for the most part. I think they're excellent final words to the piece. There was one phrase that felt slightly awkward to me, though and it was "... how to unlock the door you keep your heart behind..." The wording sort of tripped me up for a second. If I may offer a suggestion, I think something along the lines of "...how to unlock the door that conceals your heart..." might work a little better. But it's only my opinion, so if you like what you wrote better, that's okay, too. There's also a small typo in the third paragraph starting with "Now it's up to you..." (decided should be decide). It's nothing huge, but I just wanted to point it out in case it's something you wanted to fix. ^^;

I don't think this needs expanding. I absolutely love it the way it is and you wrote it wonderfully, and with such feeling. It's a powerful piece.
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011
Now that I think about it, 'conceal' does sound much better :P. And thanks for the feedback and pointing out the typo :glomp:
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:iconzerosilver:
zerosilver Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! I loved the piece, so it merited a comment. :D
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:iconicefarie:
IceFarie Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2011
:iconthewrittenrevolution:

-I got the feeling of a lesson right away, so you don't have to worry about that ^_^

-The ending seems just a little abrupt, but the actual content isn't a problem. I think that you just need a little bit more leading up to the final sentence as it seems to almost cut off mid-thought. So yes, I would recomend expanding on the final bit just a little. It's very well thought out, otherwise.
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011
I agree, i do think it could end a bit more smoothly :P...I'll see what I can change :D Thanks for the feedback :hug:
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:iconsammyfraz:
sammyfraz Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2011
i really enjoyed the premise of examining the senses finding lessons in them it totally felt like lessons maybe if i had to give it one criticism i would say that each lesson is a slightly longer than it should be.

the end did a very nice job of summing up your theme
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011
I agree with you on the length, so I'll see what I can do :D Thanks for the feedback! :hug:
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:iconzexypinecones:
ZexyPineCones Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
you have transcended the fives senses and glimpsed the soul of the universe. Wonderful!!! :) :)

Does the word "with" belong in the first sentence?
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:iconsugarcovereddreams:
SugarCoveredDreams Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2011
You're right! it does not! I'll go change that :) And thank you for the comment! :hug:
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:iconzexypinecones:
ZexyPineCones Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
It was my pleasure...really enjoyed it. :huggle:
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